Not in The North

Well it has obviously been sometime since I blogged about Webequie. Not because I am worried what they would think, just caught up in living my life at my home in Thunder Bay. It was been so wonderful being able to wake up in my own bed every day. But the best is being able to see side walks, stores and other aspects of civilization.
Now as I mentioned before I am not someone who spends her life in the shops, in fact i actually hate shopping. But it is nice that when you want a change of scenery you can get it. The closest I got to being in the bush this year were the weekly walks my son and I took to Trow Bridge Falls with the dog.

Halloween is fast approaching and I am enjoying decorating the house this year for that night. I have always had a spectacular display on that night, skeletons, severed body parts, ghosts and a mini graveyard in the front yard, sadly since I have been away for 4 years I have been trying to find everything, without success. So I guess a clean up of the basement is in order to find all the ghoulish piece to my Halloween decorating.

One thing I will miss from the Web was the Halloween preparation there. every year there is a door decorating contest. The kids and I made a door of cardboard last year and when you opened it a monster with its eyes hanging out would fall out to grab at you.

Yes a little haunted porch area, the students and I were very proud. We did not win but had a blast doing it. Wish I had done that to my house this year, but maybe next year, and I thin I will get a fog machine too.
I must say that in webequie they love Halloween, its a huge deal and huge money prizes for their costumes that many work on all year. so yes I will miss that, but maybe i will host a Halloween party here one year now that i am home.

Like throwing rocks into the Grand Canyon

Sometimes you are so focused on something that you wonder "Am I making a difference?" You usually gett the answers indirectly from your work, most of the time. You can see things change and grow and you can witness how your contribution is making a difference. At least that is how it is suppose to work in my field of Education.
I am definitely one of those "rose coloured glasses" type of people that got into education because I want to change lives. But over the past 4 years the only life I see that is changed is my own. I suppose in many ways that is a good thing. But my desire to make a real difference in the Web has not been realized. It is true I have brought some much needed upgrades to the resources for the school, however; very little has changed in the way things are there.
It is so truly sad to see that students that could do very well are lost in a sea of indifference and lack of desire on everyone's part.
I have always said my time in the Web is temporary and based purely on the whims of the community and whether or not they like you this year. So when my contract was not renewed I was hurt by the cold form letter but not surprised. What did surprise me was the letting go of other seasoned teachers. Those that will not be returning are those that also work at making that difference. Teachers who have been around for a few years like myself and established in our careers. It is sad and unfortunate that the board and community are opting for first year teachers to save a few bucks instead of investing in those established teachers.
I know that they will always operate this way mainly because its the way they have operated since the 1970's when the school was established. Its not an unwillingness to change, just the inability to see that change is what they need.
I will be continuing the blog after I leave the Web, to enlighten any of you that feel they want to teach here. You may change your mind when I turn the very harsh lights up to reveal what really goes on in the Web!

It's Spring Yet???

Normally at this time of year in the Web we are still buried under a few feet of snow. As we leave our homes after the March Break we leave towns that are melting and even some that have seen the last traces of the snow. We return to the Web and feel as though it were the place that Spring forgot. Back to wearing mitts, winter boots, scarves and the lot. Then the real winter blues will set in.
Often times I'd return to the Web and then my boys would give me updates on how they were doing with the garden. As they speak i would look out my front window as a skidoo speeds past on the lake out front.

  A sigh felt deep down to the bottom of my feet would escape as I would long for Spring.
But it would seem that Spring has not forgotten about the Web. Now for those of us that live "south" of the Web, its great news. We can put on lighter spring jackets, break out the rain boots, and for me, flips flops in the school. It makes us feel that the world is not so cold.
However, there are several things on the downside with this early Spring in places like the Web. It means the winter road is unpassable. In fact I just heard that out school bought a brand new school bus, but they were only able to drive it to Summer Beaver, so there it will remain until the net Winter Road season. So we should see out new bus sometime next January depending on how long it takes to get over 17' of ice thickness. It also means that no more goods can be shipped, that means fuel for the next winter, food, building supplies and the list goes on.
It also means an early arrival of the sand flies. They are those tiny little flies that swarm about you getting caught in your hair. They fly into your nose, mouth ears and its the most annoying part of being in the bush.
I always have plenty of bug spray but it does not seem to make a difference to these guys they swarm and pester and bite anyway.
For those of us not from the community we don't think of the things that will impact them, we think of what impacts ourselves, and usually that is the bugs. We figure "whats a few bugs" and for us the early arrival of Spring in all her guts and glory is welcome and are glad from the reprieve of the -45 C days and eagerly take out the summer clothes in breathless anticipation.
For me its even better. I return today to the Web after March break and a 3 day conference, to be there for 16 days, and return home for 4 days of the Easter Celebrations, back to the Web for 4 days and then we have the Awesome Goose Break which goes for 2 weeks. Many teacher envious us, but there is a trade off here too. In order for the school to close for those 2 weeks we extend our school day by 1/2 hour, so we work until 4 PM. But then I figure there is no where else to go in the Web, so what is an extra 1/2 hour right? And actually I have worked in the Web one year when they had eliminated the 2 week Goose Break and we ended our day at 3;30, it was awful, I find the kids needed the 30 minutes to get their work done. So its a half dozen of one and 6 of another, so they say.
For me, I feel mixed about April; it is great to be home for almost the entire month, in total there are only 9 instructional days in April....YES only 9, and the day before Goose Break is often 1/2 day, and the Thursday before Easter is given way to classroom parties...so that makes it 8 instructional days. YIKES! Then when we return in May, we have to really work hard to get kids back in the school mode. Not an easy task, often teachers will spend the first week re-establishing  the routines, and if it is warm and sunny outside, it is harder to keep them engaged. Many times recess come and we discover at the end of it half the class has run off.
So go the pitfalls of teaching the end of the school year in the Web!

Gone Fishing

Indeed fishing can be one of the most relaxing things to do in any season. Yes believe it or not I even enjoy ice fishing.

Above you can see me on a Sunny April afternoon ice fishing with some of the other teachers from up here in the Web. I actually got a nice little sun burn sitting out there on the ice all day, and it was a pleasant distraction from the drays stuck inside my little house with nothing but 4 television channels and a very slow dial up style internet connection.
Ah but this is life in the North, on an island  in the middle of nowhere. But it is not all hunting and fishing. The days are not always packed with fun cultural activities. In fact it can be hard to be there when family is so far away. So I get to the point of this blog.
My Dad! Yes, he has now been laid to rest and in my mind  is truly "gone Fishing" But a part of me remains unsettled. As I had wanted to bring him to Thunder Bay 2 years ago where he could get daily care and be with his true family. But because I am in the Web 10 months out of the year, and my brothers are in Kam, it was hard to figure out how to make it work. But now its a moot point. Human nature has me saying "IF ONLY" but I know my dad would shake his head and tell me that  it was no use looking back on things we can't change, make changes now to the things you can!

Man nd Dada is right. So the things I can change: stop saying to family "We should get together" After spending the morning and afternoon with my extended family, and sating again to my Cousin Gil "Oh we should get together we should come out and see you." I actually called them this morning and told Kathy, put on the coffee we are coming for a visit. "Striking while the iron is hot"  
What brought on the sudden desire for this reconnection.How did we make the decision when standing at the crossroads? Well I have to give the credit to my Aunt Anna, my Dad's sister in law, who was married to his little brother Simeon a.k.a. Butch. She got the relatives that are "loyal' to her to call and harass my brother Warren because their names were not in the paper, and because I put Simeon instead of Butch in the paper, and I forgot to mention the sisters in laws in the newspaper clipping. It was so petty and so vile it almost made my brothers stay home the day of the funeral.  But we all stood together and that side of the family was a no show, but the beautiful Finnish side of the family was there in full force, and they were loving and kind and proud of us kids (LOL KIDS).
For years my brothers and I have tried to be close to our cousins ( children of my dad's brothers) and over and over again their petty jealousy has slapped us in the face. It was as we were feeling like we had the love of family when they all came over 30 of them and crammed into my tiny living room and kitchen, no one complained if they had to stand, or wait for coffee, they all stayed they all eagerly waited to talk to each of us and told us over and over, don't be strangers, come and visit.
Man it was like all 3 of us were struck by lightening. These were the family members we needed to build the connections with, they build us up, they don't tea us down like my Aunt and her brood. These people embrace us and welcome us back over and over. 
It will be hard to go back to the Web after the conference and it will stil be hard to be there 10 months of the year, but now when I come home, i have family i can spend time with. laugh with and cry with. The anticipation will be something i can look forward to. So when it is -45 out and I am 2 weeks from coming home, I can think of the great times I will have being with this incredible family I have.
So as they say, everything happens for a reason, my Dad is at peace, he is suffering no longer, and in his passing we have gained a family again!
So, I will feel less stressed in the  Web now, and remember that its only temporary, but my family and my awesome friends are forever!

Death and the North

Here in the North when we experience loss through death it is felt throughout the community. The school immediately closes down and the entire community mourns. Even if you don't know the person you can't help but feel some of this grief through our students.

However, when an outsider like us has a loss, you feel so very much alone. On January 4th I had returned to the Web to work and did not find out until the following afternoon that my father had passed away. it was definitely a shock. My family so desperately needed me at home, and yet I had just returned to work. I was grateful of the kindness of those i work with who were very supportive, and who understood I needed some time to process this.
Since my "evil" step-mother (yes she is truly evil) is a cheap witch, she merely had his body cremated and had no mass and no funeral. She never bothered to put an obituary in the paper. He was living in Sault Ste. Marie and there was no family there, but still she could have posted something in the paper in Thunder Bay.
Even though we do not have his remains my brother and I decided that his passing was due some respect. The family that that heartless witch tried to rip apart pulled together and began planning the funeral.

I just want to say it is very tricky making preparations for a funeral when you are 500 miles away on a frozen island in the middle of the deep North. But thank God for Facebook, email and the internet. I was able to put together a very nice service and finalize the plans. However, so that I do not disrupt my class and their learning I had to plan the funeral for the week prior to the Conference in Thunder Bay, this way my students won't feel abandoned.

Still it feels odd and you feel so very disconnected from your family, even more so when there is a loss such as this. It is often hard to convey emotion through social media to your family, and all too often one side misunderstands what the others says or asks and tempers flare. It is so much easier to do this in person. But as I am here, i don't have the luxury to fly out at the drop of a hat. Since the evil step mother will not release money from the estate to pay for the funeral, we have to shoulder that burden as well. Sad when you realize he left money for this funeral and because she wants to save the money for herself, we are stuck shouldering all the cost. But when t is a parent you do what it takes, and you ad these experiences to the list of stories you will tell when you are a grand parent.

so here is a tribute to my dad, he's gone fishing for good now, maybe he's in abaot somewhere in heaven with St.Peter and St.Andrew.....enjoy Dad!

                                                    Robert Sr and Jr with a huge haul!

Migrating back to the North

Now not sure if my heading back to the Web can be considered migration, since my home is really in Thunder Bay. However, its almost time to head back to the Web for the next round. I am eager in some respects and not so eager in others.

I am hopeful that my students will be happy and ready to get back to work, but I also know when i return we will be in the middle of the Community's Winter Carnival, so attendance will be low for Thursday and Friday, and after being out of school since December 15th , that is 24 days without the routine of school. History has shown me that it will take a few weeks to get them back into the routines again, sadly once we are in a routine it will be disrupted by a conference, then one week of class disrupted by March Break, 2 1/2 weeks of  school disrupted by Easter, then 2 weeks of class, disrupted by 2 weeks off for Goose Break...now it seems that from may till June there are no further disruptions to the learning scheduled, but as teachers we all know that by the end of May most of the work is done that we will report on for the final term. For myself as a grade 3 teacher there is still the matter of the EQAO test, and as I have learned in past years once the weather is nice, the attendance can drop drastically once again, and I will be lucky to get the testing done.
Although for me this is the easiest part of the school year because I am home so much, but from a teaching point of view its the worst as my students are not interested in being in the classroom working on math and language, they want to be outside, playing, fishing and anything that has nothing to do with learning.

So for them they begin to prepare to the migration out of the classroom and I begin to daydream of home. Its a vicious cycle when you teach in the north. Its love and hate at the same time. Desire to make a difference, and the pain of being unable to reach your students when families think camping is more important that attendance.
My survival suggestion, do what you can, hope for the best and don't worry when students are not present, because even of they were, their minds are often elsewhere, so don't bang your head against the wall. Just keep smiling! You will change someone's life not everyone's but then its why you teach, to make a difference, somewhere!

Christmas Eve and the cafeteria catholic

Well I always feel a bit intimidated to post about my Christmas and Easter Mass Experience. Now since I have gone up North to work and not having a catholic Church on the Reserve, I end up attending Sunday Mass and the occasional Weekday Mass through internet mass sources. I do realize that there are those that can not make the trek to chruch every Sunday due to poor health and other issues. But those are not the people I have an issue with.
I do apologize to those of you who thought this would be a Northern story but this is just a rant that i have rolling about in my brain at the moment and wanted to get it off my chest.
Its the Cafeteria Catholics that get my goat. These are he individuals, that pick and choose what things they will follow from the dogma of the Catholic faith, they pass judgment about how the rules do not respect human rights. They are the ones that secretly support abortion, gay marriage and premarital sex. Now don't start thinking that I have anything against gay people, I definitely do not, neither does the Pope. But what the Catholic Church has issue with is acting upon that lifestyle and thinking gay marriage would ever be sanctioned by God. I won't out rightly ever tell anyone in a gay marriage that they are doing anything wrong, that judgment is not mine to make. But my dear Cafeteria cathoolic aquaintences will be out there protesting and support them. well that is their choice and they will answer for that on their judgement day too.
These Cafeteria Catholics also feel that giving God 1 hour a week out of  168 hours is far too much for God and the church to ask, they know deep down they are wrong but still they try to validate their position by saying things like "Oh  worship God in my own way" or "I don't need to be in Church every Sunday to show God I respect and love him."  The very fact that thay have these excuses handy shows that on some level they know they should be there.
Then 2 times a year these people flood into the Church. They are loud and rude and act like they have some kind of entitlement. While others are trying to pray and connect with God, they are speaking out loud and disturbing the reverence of the mass for those around them. sadly the priest not wishing to offend them tip toes around them and is careful that the sermon does not offend the 2 time a year crowd. Perhaps they will eventually change and be overcome with the spirit of Christ and realize they have been merely spectators in their faith, or maybe not.
As for me, i am committed 100%, When I am here in town I attend Mass every Sunday and often attend daily masses as well, I go to confession, and pray as often as I can for myself and others. I try as best i can to give to charity and do charitable works hopefully on a daily basis. Yes it is a lot, but with 2012 upon us already, I'm not taking any chances, its not hurting me to be devout, so I wonder why so many people think of their pleasure first before they think of pleasing God?
I do welcome all the cafeteria crowd to Mass this very Holy day, and do hope it has some special meaning for you. But please remember there are some very serious Catholics in the church today and tomorrow that would appreciate you showing some reverence when in church. Silence before mass would be a great gift you can give to these people. Perhaps you did not realize it before, but now you know. save the chatter for the end  of Mass and let the rest of us pray in ppeace.
Merry Christmas to everyone.